March 1, 2022

Boxes

First panel: Claire is walking through the woods in the winter at night, frowning, their hands in the pockets of their hoodie, staring at the ground. Text in the top left corner says:"I've thought a lot about the things I wanted to say to you, now that it's likely I won't see you again. / Second panel: Claire stands at the top of a hill and stares down to the road, where there is a stop sign. Text in the road says: "I really liked you." / Third panel: Claire is sliding down a path on the hill towards the road, steadying themself with their arms stretched out. Text in the top left and bottom right corner says: "I rarely say it. But I think you could guess."
First panel: a wide angle view of a desert, with mountains in the distance. Claire stands by the road at the bus stop while a bus arrives, now in a white T-shirt wearing the hoodie around her waist. The bus looks like the ones that circulate on Seattle public transit. Text in the top left says: "The few times my unspoken prayer was answered, it never turned out the way I wanted it to." Second panel: Claire, puts on a KN95 mask and climbs into the bus. Third panel: sitting by the window with their mask on, Claire stares out the window at the desert, curious. Fourth panel: another wide-angle view of the desert, from above. The bus is taking off into the distance, towards more mountains, these ones covered in pine trees.
First panel: a close-up of Claire staring off to the other side now and frowning, with pine trees visible outside the window to their right. Text in a box says "I used to want to say I was sorry." Second panel: we see the bus from the front, coming up the road in the dark woods. Text in a box above the bus and on the road in front of the bus says "Sorry for wanting you" and "Sorry for wasting your time". Third panel: view from far above as the bus winds up the pine-tree-covered mountain. Text in a box on the bottom right says: "Sorry for not fitting into the boxes that I thought would make me whole".
First panel: Another view of the bus from the front arrives onto flat ground. The woods are completely dark. Second panel: the bus is now parked on the left side of the panel next to the trees, with a couple passengers standing around outside. Claire, on the right side of the panel, is walking away into the woods, wearing their hoodie again and holding their mask in their hand. A text box between Claire and the bus says: "But I don't want to try to fit into those boxes anymore." Third panel: Claire is walking through the woods at night, clutching her right arm with her left hand, looking up with an anxious, frowning, questioning expression on her face. Fourth panel: we see Claire from behind as she has arrived at the edge of the woods and is now looking out onto a beach, with the sun rising in the distance.
In a series of three panels, Claire looks back behind her towards the woods with her arms folded across her chest and frowning, then back out towards the beach with wider and curious eyes, and then looks at the beach some more in the other direction with a knowing smile on her face, raising one eyebrow. In a series of two panels, we see Claire from the waist down with her hands in her pockets as she stands at the top of a staircase, then as she takes a step forward. In the final panel, we see a wide angle shot of the beach that Claire is now standing on, with a staircase to the left leading back up to the woods on the top of the hill, a large mountain in the background, and a small boat tethered to a wooden walkway to the right of the panel. Claire has their hands in their pockets still and is staring down the beach. Text in the sky says: "I don't want to say I'm sorry anymore". Text on the bottom of the page says "July 2020 - November 2021".






This comic has been bouncing around in my brain for the last couple of years! Now it is here. Hope you like it.

 [ Thrice - The Color of The Sky ]

***

If you're looking for places to donate to help in Ukraine, Libereco is a Swiss-German NGO that has created a joint humanitarian fund with their local partner organisation Vostok SOS. They also have a list of ways that you can help, including directly where you live. Even things that can feel small are essential.

Other organizations doing work on the ground that you can donate to are:

  • Respond Crisis Translation (link is to a mutual aid fund to support translation and interpretation for refugees in Afghanistan, Haiti and Ukraine)
  • Each One Teach One (a community-based organization in Berlin working to promote the interests of Black, African and Afro-diasporic people in Germany and  Europe, currently coordinating accommodation and relief for BIPOC fleeing Ukraine)
  • LSVD Berlin-Brandenburg MILES program (offering psychosocial & legal support for LGBTIQ* refugees in Berlin and Brandenburg)
  • moabit hilft (coordinating and distributing material donations)

In general, please also mind what you are reading, what you are sharing, what you are putting on people's feeds, and verify where it is coming from. In times like these it is easy to act impulsively, and this can be used for harm; if you are in a safe place, allow yourself to take a step back to ask yourself what is helpful to those who are not.

 

October 22, 2021

Fanart Friday: Sad Comics 2021

Earlier this year a series of bad things and personal upheavals happened. I drew various short comics to process some of them and will be updating this post with them for the next few weeks on Fridays.

Content warning: some of these touch on stuff like death, grief, depression and religious trauma, so please be mindful if that is something you aren't up to reading right now.


A two-panel comic in black and white. In the first panel, Claire is sitting on a bench by a lake at night, looking out onto the water. The edge of the lake is paved and there is a street lantern and a tree. Claire is wearing shoulder length hair and a plaid hoodie. In the top left corner of the panel are the lyrics to a song in French that mean "I don't have much to say to you". In the second panel we see Claire sitting on the bench with their arms crossed, staring off to her left and frowning. Behind her are trees and next to her is a trash can. In the bottom left corner there are lyrics from the same song, translating to "and not much to make you laugh." The song is "J'ai demandé à la lune" by Indochine.


Translation: "I don't have a lot to say to you, and not a lot to make you laugh."

 

August 2, 2021

Berlin PSA: Shots! Shots!

A drawing of Claire wearing a black tank top, black Converse high-tops and shorts, chin-length hair and an FFP2 mask, staring into the camera with their thumb up and their left hand on their side, showing a large band-aid on their left shoulder. A caption pointing to the band-aid says "got it on the arm I don't sleep on".
Hi folks! Your friendly local double-vaxxed Clairikine here, with a PSA that there are currently multiple vaccination offers in Berlin that do not require making an appointment on Doctolib, and are not just at the Impfzentren. Please get vaccinated if you are able, please tell folks around you where they can get their shots too, and if you can, consider offering to help with stuff that might make getting them more difficult! We can do this.

May 26, 2021

Meeting (New) People

 
First panel: Title card saying "Meeting (New) People". Second panel: caption says "Apps", image shows Claire sitting on the floor, wearing short hair and a plaid shirt, holding up their iPhone to look at it and thinking "Which do I hate more: defining myself for others, or starting conversations that don't go anywhere?" Third panel: caption at the top says "Zoom calls". Image shows Claire sitting on her easy chair, leaning over to click something on her laptop and making a worried face with gritted teeth, saying "Aaah shit shit shit! How did I come across?? I need more non-verbal cues!!!" Caption pointing at her says "(I call this a Zoom hangover)". Fourth panel: caption at the top says "IRL". Image shows Claire standing behind a line of tape on the floor with their hands in their pockets, wearing a hoodie, a knapsack, messy chin-length hair and an FFP2 mask. She thinks to herself "Oh wow, that person is cute!" A caption points to their hair saying "unkempt 6-month quarantine mullet". Another caption points to the tape on the floor saying "literally not safe to get close to anyone".

I am happy to report that the mullet at least is now gone, though not much else has changed! (These are observations btw, not a request for dating advice.)

 [ Lord Huron - When The Night Is Over ]



May 21, 2021

Friday Sketchpost: "Beten" (Praying)

For Lent earlier this year, I was asked to volunteer some artwork for a local church on the topic of prayer within the larger theme of "Barmherzigkeit" (mercy). This is what I came up with, with the idea that prayer can be opening yourself up to dialog with anyone—yourself, other persons human or divine—with a specific focus on places in Berlin where I've found this possible.

(No physical human presence here, because... well, you know.)  

Black and white illustration of a lake, with trees on either side and a small bouie in the water. Text says "What do I want to say, but don't know how?" in German.
What do I want to say, but don't know how?
 

May 5, 2021

One shitty rollercoaster

Claire sits at the top of a rollercoaster. They go down, then level off, then down, then swing back up, then slowly climb, then level off, then back down, then swing back up, then level off. In the final panel she plunges back down and says "Dear God when does it stop."

 If you've been on a shitty rollercoaster, this one is for you.

[ Julien Baker - Favor (live) ]

***

If you are a US citizen and/or EU citizen, please help pressure leadership to make covid-19 vaccines available to everyone, and not just to the countries rich enough to focus on themselves while the rest of the planet suffers with no end in sight. There is an EU citizens' initiative that needs 1 million signatures to demand action from the European Commission, and several US Senators are demanding action from the Biden administration as well. EU citizens can sign the initiative and US citizens can call their representatives in Congress to voice their support. None of us are safe until everyone is safe. Thank you.


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March 16, 2021

Change of Seasons

 

First panel: caption says "Sometimes when the seasons change, questions like these take over my brain." Image is of Claire standing outside with an FFP2 medicinal mask and a hoodie, staring towards the sky. The sun is shining and the sunbeams include, in all caps: "Winter is over, what do you have to show for it?". Second panel: still Claire, walking in the woods. Caption says "And this time around the answer is..." and Claire says "...myself?". Caption says: "...a good answer."
 

I wrote this comic last month when it was suddenly 15 degrees Celsius for a couple days and since then we've gone back to subzero temps at night. I stand by it though.

[ Jars of Clay - Inland ]


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March 12, 2021

One year later


ALT: First panel: caption says "Early March 2020". Claire is leaving a bus stop checking her phone and thinking "Okay... just gonna do the right thing and stay home for a little while. It won't last forever, and I can do this." Second panel: caption says "Early March 2021". Claire is lying on the carpet in the dark with smoke coming out of a giant hole in their chest where their heart should be. Next to her are a phone with the caption "Can't reply to 'How are you?' anymore", a laptop with the caption "escapism", a couple books, and a newspaper with the caption "don't even ask"

I started social distancing in Berlin one year ago this week. Don't really have much else to add about that right now! Except that I'm OK (in pandemic-adjusted terms) and I have a support network for when I'm not. Take care of yourselves and each other, get vaccinated when you're able, keep doing the right thing.

[ Jars of Clay — Silence (live) ]  

 

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