Clairikine Comics

May 31, 2022

Tuesday Fanart: My Chemical Romance, "The Foundations of Decay"

A black and white illustration with lyrics from My Chemical Romance's "The Foundations of Decay". It shows Claire wearing a plaid shirt, chin length messy hair and black Chucks, standing with her back to us and staring out onto a dark pool of water filled with ruins. Text in the top left says "You must fix your heart" and in the bottom right says "and build an altar where it swells".

🎶 Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away 🎶

Before this song came out I was familiar with a grand total of three MCR songs, a number which has exponentially increased since then. My neighbors are thrilled.

~~(I pulled these lyrics from Genius.com, they may or may not be accurate.)~~ Now that the song has been extensively toured and transcribed, I've updated the lyrics accordingly!

[ My Chemical Romance - The Foundations of Decay ]

May 24, 2022

Vessel

A two-page comic in black and white, captioned throughout with lines from a poem. On the first page, the first panel shows an empty hallway in a small apartment, with windows on the left, a door in the back, and a few doors and a mirror on the right. Text above says "I have learned not to trust that anything will last." The second panel shows Sondra and Lex standing in the hallway and getting ready to leave. Sondra, a short woman with long black curly hair, is wearing a nice black cardigan and a black skirt and holding a purse, and is chatting animatedly while Lex, a taller woman with short red hair, is pulling on a vest and smiling. Caption says "Not the good, not the bad." In the third panel, Lex leans over and kisses Sondra on the cheek; Sondra is delighted. Text says "learned to not get attached". The fourth panel shows Lex and Sondra standing outside, downtown, at night, near a subway, while a few people are walking by. They are both checking something on Lex' phone. Text says "I've learned not to believe those who leave will come back." The fifth panel shows them sitting on a subway next to a person with curly hair and glasses reading a newspaper; Lex is cuddling Sondra, who has her head on her shoulder and is smiling with her eyes closed, while Lex is resting her chin on her head and staring off at something off-panel. Text says "And I've heard otherwise, but those lies never track."

On the second page, the first panel shows the sign at the entrance to an outdoor cinema at night, with a movie reel projector and a deer head painted onto it. String lights are hanging off both sides of the sign. Text says "But deep inside your eyes," The text follows into panel 2, where we see Sondra and Lex standing in a line with other people, including a person with a plaid shirt and long black hair, a couple of men smiling at each other (one with short curly hair and the other bald), a woman with an undercut and curly hair and glasses sitting in a wheelchair, a woman with long black hair standing behind her and chatting with a taller woman with broad shoulders and black curly hair, and a small child with curly hair standing in front of them. Sondra is checking her phone and Lex is looking up at the lights. Text says "something turns on the light". In the third panel, Sondra and Lex are saying hi to friends of theirs they've run into: a tall woman with long blonde hair and a striped sweater; a shorter person with glasses and curly hair, holding a drink; and a small blond man with stubble and a plaid shirt. Text says "And it feels like I'm worthy, like I'll be alright". In the fourth panel, Lex and Sondra are holding hands while making their way over to an amphitheater style seating to sit down. Various people are sitting there already. Sondra is pointing to an empty spot. The fifth panel is a close-up of Lex and Sondra's handholding while sitting down. Text says "I have learned that my heart's in a shell made of glass". The final panel shows the amphitheater from behind, with everyone including Lex and Sondra and a couple of men (one wearing a cowboy hat, one wearing a plaid shirt) sitting down to watch the movie on a large screen pitched on the grass in front of a fence, with a handful of stars visible. The screen shows five wavy lines, almost like a rainbow. Text says "And - I know now - it's safe for that vessel to crack."

Lex and Sondra return! I drew this for Comic Invasion Berlin's Queer Movie Night, featuring a queer comics exhibit and a screening of the documentary No Straight Lines.

Thanks to everyone who came by and made this a very special evening — and also to everyone at the main festival who stopped by my table, asked me what I was fangirling, bought zines and generally made my first IRL Comic Invasion since 2019 a resounding success! Special thanks go to Ash and Henna aka HX for being such awesome tabling buddies.

My new zines collecting autobio comics from 2016 to 2022 are now all available for purchase in my store!

[ twenty one pilots - Formidable ]

April 15, 2022

(Good) Friday Fanart: Stare At The Sun (Thrice)

A two-panel comic in black and white, with lyrics from "Stare At The Sun" by Thrice. First panel: view of Claire from the side, sitting by the lake and wearing a plaid shirt. Text says "I can't help feeling like I'm due for a miracle" Second panel: Claire sitting on a tree log in front of a bench, arms folded on their knees and looking up to the side. Text says "I'm waiting for a sign".

A good Karfreitag to all who...celebrate?

[ Thrice - Stare At The Sun ]

April 12, 2022

Monsters

A black-and-white comic in four panels. First panel: Claire is sitting on the couch, playing a video game and saying "FINALLY killed all those monsters, onwards we go... tum te dum tum..." Second panel: Claire raises an eyebrow and says "what..." while dust appears to rise from the screen. Third panel: Claire stares with an increasingly concerned look at the TV, from which more dust is rising, and says "... oh no. Oh no no no no no" Fourth panel: A text bubble coming from the screen says "Surprise! All the monsters you killed are back and everything is still a nightmare." Claire grips the controller and yells angrily at the screen: "Dammit, I play this game to ESCAPE"

Resurrect this, Blood Moon.

***

Ami·es basé·es à l'étranger et ailleurs, je ne vais pas pondre un long argumentaire dessus — le 24 avril on reste pas chez nous et on va voter Macron contre la fasciste. Si vous avez des difficultés pour voter sur place à l'étranger, n'hésitez pas à me contacter.

[ Placebo - Happy Birthday in the Sky ]

If you would like to support my comics work, you can become a patron or leave a tip!

Investment

A black and white comic in three panels. First panel: Claire sitting on a couch next to a small plush dinosaur, typing into a laptop on her lap. Caption says "Paying for in-store pickup: 10€". Second panel: Claire standing in front of a regional train stopped at the station, under a sign that says "BER Terminal 1-2". Caption says: "Round-trip ticket to Brandenburg: 3,60€" Third panel: Claire is happily hugging a giant IKEA plush shark and a little heart is showing next to their head. The shark is saying "too tight, too tight". Caption says "Having a giant shark to hug: priceless".

At the time I purchased this Blåhaj there were 6 left in stock for all of Berlin + suburbs. IKEA Schönefeld: far away but worth it.

A montage of two photos. The first one shows a road sign next to the highway in rural Brandenburg at sunset. The second one shows an empty set of S-Bahn seats and the reflection in the window at night shows Claire with the shark, taking a selfie.

[ Foo Fighters - All My Life ]

If you would like to support my comics work, you can become a patron or leave a tip!

March 22, 2022

Behold

First panel: Claire walking through the woods at night in winter and looking up, with text at the top thats says "I could tell you about all the hours I spent wandering around in the dark" Second panel: view from behind of Claire sitting on a wooden bench in front of a lake at night. Text on the top left and bottom right says "but those are for me to behold," "not you."

Thus concludes this particular series of nature walks! I have enjoyed them.

[ Thrice - The Artist in the Ambulance ]

If you would like to support my comics work, you can become a patron or leave a tip!

March 1, 2022

Boxes

First panel: Claire is walking through the woods in the winter at night, frowning, their hands in the pockets of their hoodie, staring at the ground. Text in the top left corner says:"I've thought a lot about the things I wanted to say to you, now that it's likely I won't see you again. / Second panel: Claire stands at the top of a hill and stares down to the road, where there is a stop sign. Text in the road says: "I really liked you." / Third panel: Claire is sliding down a path on the hill towards the road, steadying themself with their arms stretched out. Text in the top left and bottom right corner says: "I rarely say it. But I think you could guess."

First panel: a wide angle view of a desert, with mountains in the distance. Claire stands by the road at the bus stop while a bus arrives, now in a white T-shirt wearing the hoodie around her waist. The bus looks like the ones that circulate on Seattle public transit. Text in the top left says: "The few times my unspoken prayer was answered, it never turned out the way I wanted it to." Second panel: Claire, puts on a KN95 mask and climbs into the bus. Third panel: sitting by the window with their mask on, Claire stares out the window at the desert, curious. Fourth panel: another wide-angle view of the desert, from above. The bus is taking off into the distance, towards more mountains, these ones covered in pine trees.

First panel: a close-up of Claire staring off to the other side now and frowning, with pine trees visible outside the window to their right. Text in a box says "I used to want to say I was sorry." Second panel: we see the bus from the front, coming up the road in the dark woods. Text in a box above the bus and on the road in front of the bus says "Sorry for wanting you" and "Sorry for wasting your time". Third panel: view from far above as the bus winds up the pine-tree-covered mountain. Text in a box on the bottom right says: "Sorry for not fitting into the boxes that I thought would make me whole".

First panel: Another view of the bus from the front arrives onto flat ground. The woods are completely dark. Second panel: the bus is now parked on the left side of the panel next to the trees, with a couple passengers standing around outside. Claire, on the right side of the panel, is walking away into the woods, wearing their hoodie again and holding their mask in their hand. A text box between Claire and the bus says: "But I don't want to try to fit into those boxes anymore." Third panel: Claire is walking through the woods at night, clutching her right arm with her left hand, looking up with an anxious, frowning, questioning expression on her face. Fourth panel: we see Claire from behind as she has arrived at the edge of the woods and is now looking out onto a beach, with the sun rising in the distance.

In a series of three panels, Claire looks back behind her towards the woods with her arms folded across her chest and frowning, then back out towards the beach with wider and curious eyes, and then looks at the beach some more in the other direction with a knowing smile on her face, raising one eyebrow. In a series of two panels, we see Claire from the waist down with her hands in her pockets as she stands at the top of a staircase, then as she takes a step forward. In the final panel, we see a wide angle shot of the beach that Claire is now standing on, with a staircase to the left leading back up to the woods on the top of the hill, a large mountain in the background, and a small boat tethered to a wooden walkway to the right of the panel. Claire has their hands in their pockets still and is staring down the beach. Text in the sky says: "I don't want to say I'm sorry anymore". Text on the bottom of the page says "July 2020 - November 2021".

This comic has been bouncing around in my brain for the last couple of years! Now it is here. Hope you like it.

[ Thrice - The Color of The Sky ]

***

If you're looking for places to donate to help in Ukraine, Libereco is a Swiss-German NGO that has created a joint humanitarian fund with their local partner organisation Vostok SOS. They also have a list of ways that you can help, including directly where you live. Even things that can feel small are essential.

Other organizations doing work on the ground that you can donate to are:

Respond Crisis Translation (link is to a mutual aid fund to support translation and interpretation for refugees in Afghanistan, Haiti and Ukraine)
Each One Teach One (a community-based organization in Berlin working to promote the interests of Black, African and Afro-diasporic people in Germany and Europe, currently coordinating accommodation and relief for BIPOC fleeing Ukraine)
LSVD Berlin-Brandenburg MILES program (offering psychosocial & legal support for LGBTIQ* refugees in Berlin and Brandenburg)
moabit hilft (coordinating and distributing material donations)

In general, please also mind what you are reading, what you are sharing, what you are putting on people's feeds, and verify where it is coming from. In times like these it is easy to act impulsively, and this can be used for harm; if you are in a safe place, allow yourself to take a step back to ask yourself what is helpful to those who are not.

February 8, 2022

Hourly Comics Day 2022

Fanart Friday: Sad Comics 2021

Earlier this year a series of bad things and personal upheavals happened. I drew various short comics to process some of them and will be updating this post with them for the next few weeks on Fridays.

Content warning: some of these touch on stuff like death, grief, depression and religious trauma, so please be mindful if that is something you aren't up to reading right now.

A two-panel comic in black and white. In the first panel, Claire is sitting on a bench by a lake at night, looking out onto the water. The edge of the lake is paved and there is a street lantern and a tree. Claire is wearing shoulder length hair and a plaid hoodie. In the top left corner of the panel are the lyrics to a song in French that mean "I don't have much to say to you". In the second panel we see Claire sitting on the bench with their arms crossed, staring off to her left and frowning. Behind her are trees and next to her is a trash can. In the bottom left corner there are lyrics from the same song, translating to "and not much to make you laugh." The song is "J'ai demandé à la lune" by Indochine.

Translation: "I don't have a lot to say to you, and not a lot to make you laugh."

[ Indochine - J'ai demandé à la lune ]

Berlin PSA: Shots! Shots!

A drawing of Claire wearing a black tank top, black Converse high-tops and shorts, chin-length hair and an FFP2 mask, staring into the camera with their thumb up and their left hand on their side, showing a large band-aid on their left shoulder. A caption pointing to the band-aid says "got it on the arm I don't sleep on".

Hi folks! Your friendly local double-vaxxed Clairikine here, with a PSA that there are currently multiple vaccination offers in Berlin that do not require making an appointment on Doctolib, and are not just at the Impfzentren. Please get vaccinated if you are able, please tell folks around you where they can get their shots too, and if you can, consider offering to help with stuff that might make getting them more difficult! We can do this.

May 26, 2021

Meeting (New) People

I am happy to report that the mullet at least is now gone, though not much else has changed! (These are observations btw, not a request for dating advice.)

[ Lord Huron - When The Night Is Over ]

May 21, 2021

Friday Sketchpost: "Beten" (Praying)

For Lent earlier this year, I was asked to volunteer some artwork for a local church on the topic of prayer within the larger theme of "Barmherzigkeit" (mercy). This is what I came up with, with the idea that prayer can be opening yourself up to dialog with anyone—yourself, other persons human or divine—with a specific focus on places in Berlin where I've found this possible.

(No physical human presence here, because... well, you know.)

What do I want to say, but don't know how?

One shitty rollercoaster

Claire sits at the top of a rollercoaster. They go down, then level off, then down, then swing back up, then slowly climb, then level off, then back down, then swing back up, then level off. In the final panel she plunges back down and says "Dear God when does it stop."

If you've been on a shitty rollercoaster, this one is for you.

[ Julien Baker - Favor (live) ]

***

If you are a US citizen and/or EU citizen, please help pressure leadership to make covid-19 vaccines available to everyone, and not just to the countries rich enough to focus on themselves while the rest of the planet suffers with no end in sight. There is an EU citizens' initiative that needs 1 million signatures to demand action from the European Commission, and several US Senators are demanding action from the Biden administration as well. EU citizens can sign the initiative and US citizens can call their representatives in Congress to voice their support. None of us are safe until everyone is safe. Thank you.

If you would like to help support my comics work, you can become a patron or leave a tip!

March 16, 2021

Change of Seasons

First panel: caption says "Sometimes when the seasons change, questions like these take over my brain." Image is of Claire standing outside with an FFP2 medicinal mask and a hoodie, staring towards the sky. The sun is shining and the sunbeams include, in all caps: "Winter is over, what do you have to show for it?". Second panel: still Claire, walking in the woods. Caption says "And this time around the answer is..." and Claire says "...myself?". Caption says: "...a good answer."

I wrote this comic last month when it was suddenly 15 degrees Celsius for a couple days and since then we've gone back to subzero temps at night. I stand by it though.

[ Jars of Clay - Inland ]

If you would like to help support my comics work, you can become a patron or leave a tip!

March 12, 2021

One year later

ALT: First panel: caption says "Early March 2020". Claire is leaving a bus stop checking her phone and thinking "Okay... just gonna do the right thing and stay home for a little while. It won't last forever, and I can do this." Second panel: caption says "Early March 2021". Claire is lying on the carpet in the dark with smoke coming out of a giant hole in their chest where their heart should be. Next to her are a phone with the caption "Can't reply to 'How are you?' anymore", a laptop with the caption "escapism", a couple books, and a newspaper with the caption "don't even ask"

I started social distancing in Berlin one year ago this week. Don't really have much else to add about that right now! Except that I'm OK (in pandemic-adjusted terms) and I have a support network for when I'm not. Take care of yourselves and each other, get vaccinated when you're able, keep doing the right thing.

[ Jars of Clay — Silence (live) ]

If you would like to help support my comics work, you can become a patron or leave a tip!

February 16, 2021

Hourly Comics Day 2021

The Process

First panel: Claire sits down at her drawing table with a sheet of paper and thinks to herself: "Ookay, I've had room to reflect, time to spare, and ideas. Making comics should be pretty straightforward,." Second panel: She sits and stares at her desk. Third panel: a speech bubble floats out from her chest. It contains a battery that indicates it is at 0%. Fourth panel: Claire moves the piece of paper off her desk and says "You know what, tomorrow is another day."

That probably should have been a thought bubble in the last panel, but I'm leaving it in because it's good to vocalize stuff to yourself sometimes!

[ Kid Cudi ft. Phoebe Bridgers — Lovin' Me ]

This comic was finalized in Clip Studio Paint, using a Wacom Cintiq 16 that was acquired with funding from the German federal government's NEUSTART für Bildende Künstlerinnen und Künstler program.
If you would like to help support my comics work, you can become a patron or leave a tip!

December 8, 2020

Abandoned Places

Biking as a metaphor 🚲

***

I've moved my shop to Ko-Fi! It stocks digital and paper zines alike, as well as postcards and stickers. The cutoff for physical orders this year is December 15 and they will be processed again beginning January 4.

Also, ComicInvasion was a rousing success—thanks to everyone who stopped by and made it happen!! The virtual artist alley is still going and you can visit my table here.

[ Bob Moses - The Blame ]

November 11, 2020

Does Everyone Feel

[ Taylor Swift - the 1 ]

What is self-isolating without at least a little ruminating? Thanks to the city of Potsdam for providing a backdrop to musings, as well as a change of scenery.

***

Thanks also to everyone who requested their ballot, mailed it back, followed up with their election official, and asked their friends if they did the same. The work continues, but I hope you were able to celebrate this weekend. Let's keep going, and don't forget that the US Senate is still up for grabs.

October 23, 2020

Radio

(Radio ads by the Ministère des Solidarités et de la Santé in France and the Senatsverwaltung für Gesundheit, Pflege und Gleichstellung in Berlin, Germany, October 2020.)

September 29, 2020

Last Annoyances of Summer

Even with its annoyances, spending the summer outdoors was pretty enjoyable! In Berlin we're now at the start of another cold season, with the highest number of new covid cases per week since early April. Please be careful and be kind to yourself and to others!

If you're a US citizen, please mail your ballot in ASAP and call your senators about SCOTUS. Help make minority rule a thing of the past.

[ Public Enemy feat. DJ PREMIER - State of The Union (STFU) ]

September 16, 2020

Treasure Hunt

I contributed this comic to one of the ComicInvasion Treasure Hunt booklets! All four issues are hidden at various locations throughout the city while stocks last. Can you find them all?

September 8, 2020

Draw Your Outfit Right Now Meme

I participated in a meme!

September 2, 2020

Small Talk (again)

Options include the 3-second "Alright", the 15-minute rant, and the 90-minute introductory course.

***

If you're reading this from the US, please consider donating to a bail fund in your area to support the ongoing protests for Black lives and against police brutality. You'll find a list of bail funds for protesters here.

If you are a US voter and have not yet registered to vote, you'll find information on how and where to do so, as well as what to do to vote by mail, at VoteSaveAmerica.com! If you are a US voter overseas and are not yet registered, it is now best at this time to first do so via VoteFromAbroad.org and also request your federal backup ballot in case your regular ballot does not arrive in time. You'll find links to both processes here.

If you live overseas and are not a US voter, please share this information with your US friends the next time you want to talk about US politics with them! It will be very helpful. Thank you!

[ HAIM - I Know Alone ]

August 25, 2020

August Sleeping Patterns

Fortunately it's now autumn in Berlin.

[ BBXO - Sabotage ]

August 14, 2020

Fanart Friday: "Summer Years", DCFC

I was listening to Death Cab’s Thank You For Today the other day and remembered that I drew this comic a couple years ago. 🎶 (TYFT is still one of my favorite albums.) (Also I miss the Royal Armouries in Leeds, where I believe the first panel is located! Either that or Hamburg. Which I also miss.)

[ Death Cab For Cutie - Summer Years ]

July 28, 2020

Some Other Place: Fighter

[ Jenny Owen Youngs - Vampire Weeknight ]

Lex returns! You might remember her from short stories of mine here, here and here; you can find other stories set in that universe here.
I wrote this short comic as a poem many moons ago (remember pre-2020? I sure don't) and turned it into an exercise in drawing fiction again (I say "fiction", but of course Lex basically looks like me minus glasses, plus facial piercings and an undercut). I hope you like it!

***

Stay safe out there and take care of each other! The curve in Berlin has been flattened since I last wrote, but the virus is not gone -- and in fact there is an uptick in cases in Germany at the time of posting. Please remember that indoor gatherings have been shown to be a major vector of transmission, keep social distancing even when you're outdoors, and wear a mask (including over your nose!)

If you're in Germany, in light of the most recent terrible decisions made by what passes for the ministry of the interior at the moment, I recommend picking up a copy of the very good collection of essays Eure Heimat ist unser Albtraum, and reading up about police brutality and the widespread practice of racial profiling in this country. I also suggest following and supporting the work of I nitiative Schwarze Menschen in Deutschland e.V., on this and many other issues affecting Black lives in Germany.

July 16, 2020

Clairikine Starter Kits (2020 Edition)

A study in processing an unprecedented pandemic 🚲📱😷 (March 2020, July 2020).

March 18, 2020

What Was 2010-2019 Like?

This one took awhile to get out of the gate, and here it is! I officially first moved to Berlin a whole ten years and about six weeks ago.

I'm just gonna post this with the huge implicit caveat that What 2020 Currently Is Like is a whole new dimension of ... you know what, I don't have the words. File "discussing the closure of public transit" and "socializing in parks and bars" under Things I Didn't Imagine Would Date This Comic By The Time I Finished It. (If you live in Berlin and are reading this, please avoid doing all of those things for the time being, so that we can all do them again together later!)

Stay safe, protect your community, stay at home, and stay in touch. And hey—thank you, Berlin, for being one of the things that keeps me happy, even now, especially now.

[ Julien Baker - Rejoice (live) ]

Hourly Comics Day 2020

Journal comics in 2019: a selection

Over the past few years I've been drawing occasional journal comics and posting them for my subscribers on Patreon. This year was no exception, and I thought I'd post some of those here in the spirit of my year in review. Read on below!

Per tradition, I started the year with a cold. I proceeded to have several more over the spring and realized I had to slow down; and then the end of the year was extremely busy and head colds returned with a vengeance.

What Did I Do in 2019?

I also have a loooonng 2019 year in review / entertainment recap post up for my Patreon subscribers this month! Thanks to everyone who made the cool things this year possible.

And stay tuned here for more retrospective stuff, because it's still January and ~~I don't make the rules~~ I do make the rules.

if you like this comic, you can help me make more through Patreon!

December 10, 2019

Enough

Hi there! Been awhile. I hope everyone is having as low-stress a month of December as is feasible (haha).

Should you wish to acquire stickers or zines from me in time for the holidays, my store is accepting orders (and everything is on sale!) through this Friday!

If you like what I make and want to help me make more of it, you can also support me with a pledge on Patreon or a donation on Ko-Fi!

More comics coming in 2020 - until then, guten Rutsch!

[ Jimmy Eat World - 555 ]

October 26, 2019

Weekend Sketchpost: Imaginary Street

From the depths of my sketchbook: a drawing I produced while in SE Portland last month.

[ Ketchum, ID (live on KEXP) - boygenius ]

September 19, 2019

Missed Connection (2017)

Here's a comic that's been sitting in the hopper for nigh on two years! In the time since I drew this, I got a new phone that looks less like a brick, and I've asked for those numbers and sent those texts, and also gotten my hair cut. Personal growth on multiple levels!

***

In more recent news, I have returned from visiting Portland for XOXO (and stopping by Seattle on the way home). Both trips were incredible and I cannot thank everyone enough who made it possible in ways big and small. I daresay you'll see me again, PNW! (You too, XOXO, hopefully.)

[ Tegan and Sara - I'll Be Back Someday ]

***
If you like this comic, you can help me make more through Patreon!